“One other thing I probably should tell you because if we don’t they’ll probably be saying this about me too, we did get something—a gift—after the convention. A man heard Jana on the radio mention the fact that our youngsters would like to have a fact-checker — after they heard their own Dad being called “Lyin Ryan.”
“And, believe it or not, the day before we left on this campaign trip we got a text message from from this man saying he had a huge package for us. And you know what it was?
“It was this live human being in a crate that was an honest-to-god fact-checker. And our little kids, like all kids, loved the fact-checker and wanted to keep him.
“But I’m sorry to say this right now, the fact-checker was mysteriously found shot dead outside our home early this morning.“
Via the Satirical Political Report