Santorum calls on tea baggers to ignore Gingrich

Rick Santorum's campaign is calling on tea baggers to pressure Newt Gingrich to abandon his bid for the White House.

Saint Santorum has also requested that his followers “kiss his ring” when they approach him. He, in turn, will give them an extremist wafer to gnaw on while voting.

Senior campaign strategist John Brabender said the key for the campaign going forward will be creating an opportunity to challenge Mitt Romney one-on-one after thoroughly discrediting Newt.

Sanctimonious Rick has other plans too. If elected, he plans on passing out aspirins to women for birth control (you just put one between your knees…and no babies!).