Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Say Goodnight Newt: time to fly away

Newt Gingrich will probably drop out of the race to lose the GOP primary today.

It might even happen during his tour of the Billy Graham Library. Surely, when he hears the latest voting results in Delaware.

Am I surprised? Oh hell, no!

He was never “in” the race, except in his own mind. Newt faced criticism from opponents for being “grandiose,” which prompted him to respond in January: “I accept the charge that I am grandiose and that Americans are instinctively grandiose."

Really? Americans are grandiose? If that were the case Newt’s idea of mining the moon for unknown minerals would have been better received. People are still laughing about that one.

And who could forget Newt’s brainstorm for handling illegal immigrants?

“UPS and FedEx move twenty four million packages a day and track them in virtually real time. Over here is the federal government, the world that fails. And let me give you an example of what I’m talking about: twenty four million packages tracked while they move; eleven million illegal visitors sitting still. Or 15 million. One of my proposals is very simple. We send a package to every person who’s here illegally. When it’s delivered, we pull it up, we know exactly where they are. It’s on the computer.” –Council Bluffs, IA 11.30.11

Then, there was Newt’s solution to high gas prices:

“The long-term answer is American’s producing their own energy and telling other people, ‘you may have a problem, we don’t because we can be the largest oil producer in the world by the end of this decade. Bigger than Russia, bigger than Saudi Arabia. We have vastly more resources than any other country if we use them.” – San Francisco, CA 2.25.12

There’s so many more laughable highlights I’d like to point out, but frankly I don’t want to waste too much space saying goodbye to the moron. I’ll just wrap it up with Newt’s wonderful idea to put children to work in these hard times:

“You have a very poor neighborhood. You have kids who are required under law to go to school. They have no money, they have habit of work. But what if you paid them part time in the afternoon to sit in the clerical office and greet people that came in. What if you paid them to work as the assistant librarian? And I’d pay them as early as was reasonable and practical. And then we get into the janitor thing. These letters were written saying janitorial work is really hard and really dangerous. Fine. So what if they became assistant janitors and their job was to mop the floor and clean the bathroom and you pay them?” – Des Moines, IA 12.1.11

Say goodnight Newt!

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