This attempt by Republican presidential hopefuls trying to explain their past positions (since flip-flopped and now contrite)… shall be dubbed the “Apology Tour.”
Strap on your seat belt. Here we go:
Mitt Romney: “I’m So Sorry…” for passing a universal health care plan when I was governor of Massachusetts.
Newt Gingrich: “I’m So Sorry…” for piling up a huge bill at luxury jeweler (Tiffany's), but that was no reason for my staff to walk out on me!
Jon Huntsman: “I’m So Sorry…” for being another Mormon in the race, but you can bet I’ll be civil.
Michele Bachmann: “I’m So Sorry…” I mess up facts a lot, but God said I was going to become the first woman president so I have to run.
Rick Perry: “I’m So Sorry…” for being homophobic and saying anyone whose not a Christian is damned for all eternity…but, by God you’ll just have to suck it up because I’ve been Chosen by Him to run!
Tim Pawlenty: “I’m So Sorry…” about that 2006 newspaper article in which I was quoted saying “the era of small government is over” and that “government has to be more proactive, more aggressive.”
Rep. Ron Paul: “I’m So Sorry…” that I’ve wasted my backers money losing the last two times I ran for president, but would you folks give me a third shot at it? I feel lucky.
Rick Santorum: “I’m So Sorry…” for losing my last race, but the climate wasn’t right then. People were looking at my real record.
And still undeclared – Sarah Palin: “I’m So Sorry…” for taking so long to make my decision, but I’m on a Magical Bus Tour across the Nation and then the World. I’m tired of looking out my back porch and just seeing Russia!