Mass for Rick Santorum: blessed are the losers

Hear those church bells Ricky? They ring for thee…

Still, for being a sanctimonious bull-shitter, he did pretty good when you think about.

Despite starting out this presidential season as an afterthought - Ricky already accomplished a few important feats that shouldn't be overlooked as attention begins turning to the general election.

First, with limited campaign funds and almost no real infrastructure, he ultimately emerged as Mitt Romney's chief rival. Sure, he got his ass kicked consistently in nearly every state thus far..but let’s no be shortsighted about it.

Some right-wing conservatives might consider him a come-from-behind leader. Don’t ask me to tell you why they would think that, but hey…it could happen. The GOP might even think he has a future in the next presidential election.

And tea partiers might re-assert themselves in the political scene with signs spelt correctly. And the sky might turn orange, but don’t you dare say anything about global warming!

Meanwhile, Ricky has to do something to stay in shape while he waits for the world to be desperate enough to listen to his rants someday in the future.

I’m thinking he’d make a good bell boy at Saint Patrick’s Cathedral! You know, like Quasimodo, but not as smart or strong!